This True Shadowhunter
by arlora-demon
Summary: Alec Lightwood has always had feelings for Jace Wayland even when they were only young. Though his feelings for Jace have changed over time and now Alec struggles to come to realize that he loves Jace... And he can never have him... Alec tries to move on from Jace and be with someone who truly loves him like Alec loves them (Magnus). But it is hard to move on from your first love.
1. Golden Target, Golden Boy

Alec breathed in concentration as he grasped his glass-like sephe blade tightly by the handle, to get it out of the wooden wall of the training room. This was his third time trying to get this thing out, but it wouldn't badge, though when he tried again and finally it worked. The dagger flung out of wall like a rocketing bullet and landed in his silver lined hand. Alec shoved back his black hair that was in his Lightwood eyes, trying to calm himself as his neck was thudding heartbeats full of adrenaline. The thick strands of his hair were quite sweaty and they were stuck to his forehead in little loops of curls and when he tried to take them back; they bounced forward into his blue eyes again. Alec had been practicing for hours, trying to throw his sephe blade into the middle of the golden target. But it was a bit hard as he had to accomplish hard courses throughout the training room before he threw the blade into the target. He took a few steps back and wiped the hot sweat off his face, "Again!" a mechanical voice shouted from the speakers in the corner of the room. He sighed. Alec moved to his starting position, once again starting at the back of the training room. The training room was a large room with timber floors and dark Victorian wooden walls and white arched doors. There were dark lights in the old floral-shaped silver lamps – six of them on each wall. Their orange flames flickered around the room, to make a slight glimmer onto the objects around him.

He took a deep breath, a long and deep breath to get his head in the game – though this wasn't a game. The room was quite silent as there was no one and nothing there to bother him or interrupt his focus. _Be hopeful Lightwood._ He nodded, clearing his mind, _you can do this Lightwood, _he told himself and he knew he could because he was a Shadowhunter. He waited a second. Then Alec ran – bolted – a straight path, dodging automatic punching gloves. His small heart was pumping heavily – there's was nothing to help him, but only his runes to guide him. Alec soon then climbed the ridges – that burnt his palms – on the wall to the very top, and jumped over to the thin ledge – parallel from him – with a flip. He landed on his feet, he smiled, and he was finally doing well. Alec then pulled his arms out and balanced on his feet, holding his sephe blade in his right hand and eventually he ran when had gotten his balance. A large gap was then formed in front of him and he had to jump once more, and so he braced himself and strained his shoulders as he leapt off the thin ledge and onto a vertical steel ladder. The Monkey bars. Alec hung from one of the bars, his gloves helping him grip, his flexed his arm muscles – lifting him up – as one of his arms went to grab the bar front of him. His shoulders loosened and his other arm followed, he hung onto the new bar and repeated swinging onto a new bar. He repeated this again and again for the next six bars left. Alec groaned as he swung to the second last bar of the twelve bars, his up body was getting sore and his legs getting lose. He finally made it to the last bar, and then he let go after hanging there for a few seconds.

His flipped down onto the mat on the ground, only a meter jump – though he hit the ground hard on his feet. He ran once more, jumping and dodging objects on the way – getting the feeling back his legs again. Alec breathed in a huff – he had heaps for things to do, - but he cannot stop now. He started to sprint again – like at the start – as he ran up a flight of steps, judging automatic punches left and right at his hips. Alec's knees were high as they climbed their way to the top, his breath getting really heavy. His back started to sweat even more, this is the sixth time he has done this, and his hair was stringy and stuck to his forehead once more. Alec's palms started to sweat as well and his sephe blade was getting harder and harder to keep a grasp of – but he tried to keep it in his hands, he juggled it from hand to hand. The sephe blade he was holding shone a bright color – it glowed brighter than any other light in the training room – as he walked on the fat ledge at the top of the steps then a metal slide showed at his feet. Alec did a heavy exhale – his breath and energy was gone – he then shot down his legs and glided down the bulky slide, spikes then ascended out of the bottom of the slide and he whizzed himself to the left to judge them. Alec continued to slide and then from the left, automatic punches started to fire from where he slid and so he dodged them to the right. He was nearly finished the course… just one more objective. The slide stopped and so he rolled.

He stood up from the roll leaving sweat marks on the floor from his back and head. Alec saw the golden target in the distance – he strengthened his grasp on the handle of his glass-like sephe blade. His eyes were like daggers as he tried to focus his aim on the middle of the target. He walked up to the target – his heart racing in nervousness – the gold light shimmered onto his cheeks. The color of the target made him think of Jace – the color of Jace's eyes, the color of gold. His eyes sparkled at him in his mind as Jace smirked widely like he was just laughing; Alec tried to shake the thought of Jace out of his head so he could concentrate on the target, as he came to the place where he stood before. He had to throw the sephe blade soon – no now. Alec breathed but the thought of Jace's eyes were still on his mind – he was always on Alec's mind. _Don't think of Jace, Lightwood, _he thought to himself, _but I cannot. _The thought of Jace killing a demon know showed his mind. The demon would strike him at the collar bone of his shoulder, Jace would grit his teeth as he tightens the blade in his hand – it shone brighter than Alec's – his blonde hair would move away from his face… and his angelic eyes as he walked. He would be angry but not fearful; he would then strike the demon with a heavy blow to its knees and it would fall. Jace an Isabelle would attack the demon until it screams its last deathly and devilish cry. They are strength. He is a warrior – Jace is far stronger than Alec.

But he could do this – Alec can throw the blade into the middle of this target right now – and he will. Alec bit his lips – making them red – showing concentration. The most pure concentration that made him feel everything around him. He could feel; the air, the sound, the smell, the feel, the ground, the walls, the warmth of the flames in the lights, and the sharp blade in his hand. His black runes – all over his body, the marks of the angel – they guided his sight as he blinked himself into a clear vision as he stepped forward – he was ready to throw the dagger. Alec's muscular arms flexed into a triangular shape as he moved his biceps and his elbow behind his head and the bright light of the glass-like dagger was in the side of his eyes. But he tried to focus and as he breathed slowly, he threw the dagger moving his biceps in front of his head instead behind. The dagger flung rapidly into the air and made a glass-like ting. And soon after the ting a loud piercing sound of the dagger echoed throughout the room as it hit the target. Alec didn't want to see if he had hit the middle of the target – he just hoped he did – but then the speakers yelled, "Well done Alexander, you have passed." Alec looked up to the golden target and… He smiled. Finally, the dagger was now was in the middle of the target, Alec then threw his hands up in the air in celebration. He twisted around on his feet in a dance, he saw Jace walking into the room for is his try; he nods at Alec as he closes the white door of the training room. He was wearing his Shadowhunting gear – like Alec – and runes; he didn't seem worried about this drill like Alec was – though, Alec knew that Jace was different.

Alec moved toward him, heading for the door, Jace stops to talk to him, "how did you do?" Alec looks at him with a grim expression. His face… His eyes distracted him… Jace was the reason that Alec just passed. Every time he tried this course, he had failed, because he thought of Jace. That he couldn't have Jace. One reason is since Alec was gay and well… Jace wasn't because Jace had a girlfriend, Clary and the other reason was Jace was like a brother to Alec. Alec didn't answer him and tried to walk past Jace without shouting at him but Jace grabbed his arm, stopping him in front of the door. Jace looked at him with curious golden eyes and a cold chill spread down Alec's spine as he watched them watch him. "What's wrong?" Jace asked him but all Alec did to respond was to shove Jace's hand off his arm, and walk out of the room, leaving Jace by himself to do the course.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	2. Avataring Magnus Bane

**This True Shadowhunter**

_arolora-demon_

_Alec Lightwood has always had feelings for Jace Wayland even when they were only young. Though his feelings for Jace have changed over time and now Alec struggles to come to realize that he loves Jace... And he can never have him... Alec tries to move on from Jace and be with someone who truly loves him like Alec loves them (Magnus). But it is hard to move on from your first love._

Jace had finished his course fifteen minutes ago. He got a pass straight away – he didn't need to do it over and over again. Jace stayed in the training room for a few minutes throwing his dagger into the golden target multiple times, it let some unknown anger out. But he got bored. So, Jace decided to get out of the training room for a while, and walk down the New York Institute's main corridor where all the dorms a line. As he walked he whistled down the hallway, that was something he never really does, but he was worried about Alec, and he didn't want to think about him right now – he needed a distraction – thus the whistling came into being.

The Institute was silent, though it was warm and ever so homely. Isabelle and her mother, Maryse Lightwood, had decided to go out – somewhere, who knows where female Shadowhunter's go in at late afternoon? Jace sighed as he walks by the fire lit lamps on the wall of the corridor as he treaded his feet slowly. He was alone, well not alone; he had the cat, Church. I meant that he was home alone. The cat wasn't well… Church wasn't much fun and Jace wasn't sure if there wasn't anyone else in the house… and he didn't want to speak to Alec if he is mad at him. But then he heard a soft chatter – a murmur in the background.

"Shut up!" There was a soft and cute giggle down the hall after the boyish cry, as Jace decides to walk to the Library. He listened to the laugh, it sounded familiar. Jace was curious of what happening – what was so funny? So he walked towards the giggle down the corridors of the lined dormitories. He was trying to be as quiet and as stealth as possible so he wouldn't be caught snooping – he was good at stealth, this one time; he had been snooping in Robert's and Maryse's bedroom for candy when he was little, as they moved the jar and it took him 3 days to find them but when he did, he took the whole jar and hid it under his bed. He never got caught. Jace won't now.

Jace sighed once again as the murmur became a loud babble, as he reached to door where the giggle was coming from. He poked his head into the light of the door gap and gazed into it, and he saw Simon Lewis sitting on a neatly made bed, looking like doofus with his weird hair cut and he dorky smile. Jace had first thought that the scrawny mundane was the one that had done the girly laugh, but then Jace moved his eyes to person sitting beside Simon… Her red hair was tied back into a tight ponytail, making large loops down the middle of her shoulder blades. He saw Clary. Jace watched her fumbling around with an electronic device in-between her thumbs, her green eyes glances and shining at it. Jace usually saw Simon with this device – what did he call it again? Did he call it a Nintendo DS? – but now he saw Clary struggling with it, not like Simon who is greatly good at it, Jace would give him that – the mundane was good at it, not good actually… Addicted to it… It was like that device was Simon's profession.

Jace stood there and watched the two plays around and talk like the oldest of friends. As he watched he would noticed that when Clary scored the pink star by chucking the spotted marshmallow into the unicorns mouth, Simon would scream, 'hallelujah' in celebration. Then there was silence as the game transferred to the next level and the unicorn would dance as it loads. "I cannot believe that you named your avatar, Magnus," Clary giggled at Simon, as she fiddled with the black circular buttons on the controller as the screen flashed greens and blues as the new level started. Clary laughed hysterically.

Simon tackled Clary grabbing her at the hips and pulling her down, falling off the bed and to the ground, making the blankets he sat on fall. The DS fell out of her hands and slammed closed as Clary fell down with him. Simon laughed, "I told you that," he couldn't hold a straight face so he smiled widely, saying, "that name fitted the character way better than Fredrick Josephart. They only allow seven letters each avatar you have." Simon then decides to tickle Clary at the sides of her stomach – this would be a great time for Jace to budge in but he wanted to watch. Clary tried to shake Simon off but he continued to make her squirm and laugh really hard. Then Simon stopped and looked down at her, her hair all messy and all over the place – Jace thought that Simon was going to kiss her, he was about to step inside the door – then Simon says, "besides, the guy that is Magnus wear a purple bikini top and rainbow sweat pants… I think that the game actually wanted me to call it Magnus because it is Magnus. That's how Magnus dresses, I swear!" Clary laughs at him as she sits up, shaking her head, "no? So you haven't seen him wearing a purple bikini top and rainbow sweat pants?"

"No I haven't, Si, but have you?" He shakes his head, lifting up his glasses on his nose. She looks over at the device that was now closed and laid over at the other side of the room, and sighs, "hopefully that has saved."

Simon looks over at the door as he stands up, stretching his arms. Simon's eyes glisten towards Jace – behind big bulky glasses – in the light that he was standing under, on the ceiling. Simon's muscles clench together like he had seen a ghost, and then realizes. He sees Jace. Jace shakes his head as Simon looks like he is about to blab but he simply gestures for him to be quiet – like to not to tell her that he was there – and so Simon just nods and says, "But I swear, Clary, sometimes I am just really avataring Magnus." To make conversation to give time to let Jace walk away before Simon leaves, Jace smiles. _I guess you're not too bad mundane. _

Jace walks the opposite way that he had came – to the kitchen – and listens to the babbling turn into murmuring once again and Clary's giggles laugh through the hallways as an echo. Jace turns a right corner and then left corner away from the hallway of the dormitories and headed down a flight of stairs in a slow pace. But he then soon entered a fairly lighter room than any corridor in the Institute, one with a long dining room table surrounded by chairs and tall cupboards. There was Isabelle in the room putting away groceries with Maryse and Alec sitting at the table reading the newspaper. "You all have avoided me all day," Jace announces in the silence of the room which made Alec jump and look at him along with everyone else.

"Oh," Isabelle said dropping fruit into a woven basket, "boo hoo," she rubbed her eyes gesturing tears running down her face, Jace smirked but he was serious. She knew that, "Uh oh, call the ambulance!" She cried sarcastically, "Jace Wayland has feels!" She laughs – sounding like a fandom girl – at her own joke but no one else did – not even Jace – her mother actually just rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. Jace looked at Alec – realizing that Alec was just staring at him ever since he has enter the room – Isabelle then stops laughing and discovers tension, "What's with you guys?"

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle

**This True Shadowhunter**

_arolora-demon_

_Alec Lightwood has always had feelings for Jace Wayland even when they were only young. Though his feelings for Jace have changed over time and now Alec struggles to come to realize that he loves Jace... And he can never have him... Alec tries to move on from Jace and be with someone who truly loves him like Alec loves them (Magnus). But it is hard to move on from your first love._

Alec stared at Jace – light behind him he looked like an angel, a real one not just a half one – as Jace talked to Isabelle about reasons why Alec maybe mad at him. He wasn't really mad at him, he was just sick of thinking about him all the time when he can't have him. Jace was one of those people that you either have or you don't and Alec didn't have him, though he knew him and lived with him – and couldn't get over him for that reason. Isabelle started to lecture Jace and asked him what he did wrong to make me be mad at him. Of course Jace didn't know what he did, and so Isabelle asked Alec. At first, he didn't answer her – in fact he decided to just drag his chair back from the table to get up and out of the room. Isabelle then stopped him and pushed him down back down by the shoulder to sit in back his chair. Her eyes glared at his older brother for an answer, her eyes were the same eyes he had – blue eyes but more girly as they were covered in black make-up and mascara. Her dark hair was pulled back stylishly into a loose ponytail on the side, and her lips were red with her lipstick that contrasted with her pale skin. Isabelle was wearing a casual black top and ripped blue jeans with her silver whip winding around her small wrist, and 90's style black high heels. She blinked suddenly after long gazes at him, trying to make him talk, he couldn't take it anymore. "What?" His voice croaked in annoyance when he finally decided to talk. He didn't know what to say and by the expression on his sister's face he knew she wasn't very pleased with how he spoke to her. Isabelle looked over at Jace and he shrugged, as his golden eyes lay on Alec with curiosity – behind his blonde hair.

Jace crossed his arms in boredom over his chest and leant his back and shoulders on the edge on the door way waiting for Alec to give Isabelle an answer. Alec gritted his front teeth on his bottom teeth and he clenched his fists, "I am not a child, and I am not younger than you. I have no time for this," he looks up at Isabelle as she lets go of his shoulder, "and I certainly don't need to be treated like a child." He said with a hiss coming out of his tongue. Jace and Isabelle glare at him in utter astonishment as Alec shot to his feet, "now if you excuse me I have better things to do than this… this rubbish."

Alec walked away from his sister and the dining table, grumpily, and strutted to the door – hearing Isabelle sigh behind him – and past Jace; he turns with him and follows him into dimness the hallway. "Alec," his voice echoes from wooden wall to wooden wall, but Alec didn't turn around, he kept walking. He couldn't face Jace alone; if he did – right now – he would either punch him in the nose or kiss him. Alec knew that punching him in the nose would have a better outcome than the other. "Alec wait," Jace said with a hurry in his voice, Alec listened to him. He didn't want to turn around he wanted to just simply go down the elevator and go for a walk down the street. Jace then caught up to him with not even a huff in his voice after going down the stairs. He had to say something smart for Alec to listen to him. Somehow, he had to apologize for something he didn't even know what. "When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag."

Alec soon then pondered on the sentence that Jace just said; it made him confused, "are you calling me a dog?" Jace chuckled softly at him – like why would he make that conclusion? "You're calling me a dog?! I am not a dog. I am not your dog." Jace stepped back as Alec pushed him, hardly, Jace clenched his fists but he held back his tongue. He shouldn't yell at him – that will make thing worse – whatever he did or have done or whatever is making Alec upset… He was sensitive about it… Jace wished he knew what it was though – so he could help… somehow.

"I am not calling you a dog, Alec. I am saying when I am down… I try and do something that would make me laugh, that will make me happy." Jace told him, Alec looked away from his golden eyes and onto the timber floor. "It might not be whistling that will make you happy, I mean, whistling doesn't make me happy. I just like whistling. You know what makes me happy?" Alec could think of a few things that would make Jace happy like Clary and being a sarcastic jerk and he could think of things that would make himself happy like Jace and punching or kissing him right now. He was still struggling with which one he could choose so Jace should trend carefully with his words. Alec shook his head even though he could think of what would make Jace happy. "Killing demons," he told him.

Killing demons made him happy? War and blood and even 25% of survival and chance of getting home to a warm bed – made him happy? Jace liked fighting and struggling more than laughing and having fun – well, killing demons and Downworlder's and being a Shadowhunter was fun for him. Because that is what Shadowhunters do, that's what they are made for… that's their job, their profession …And then there is Jace where killing and fighting and protecting the mundane world wasn't his profession, it was his addiction… it was like his true drug. It wasn't love or friendship or even Harry Potter – it was being a Shadowhunter, a half-human and half-angel being. He was the true label to the Shadowhuntering race basically, he was the mascot. Then Alec just pictured Jace in a beaver suit, trying to run around a football field cheering for his team, and just because he cannot see, he runs into poles and benches on the way. Alec laughed.

"What?" Jace smirked weirdly at Alec, but he was confused like to say, what are you laughing at? But he was trying to hide it, trying to pretend that he knew what Alec was laughing at. Alec then instantly frowned realizing that he was making Jace smile, the smile that Alec pictured when he was doing his course, the course he had to do multiple times because of him. Jace realized that Alec was still mad at him for some reason, "look, I am sorry for whatever happened to make you mad at me or Isabelle or whoever you are mad at right now." Alec started to turn to walk away, "can you just tell me who you are mad at? Or what's wrong?"

"How about you just go and see Clary and kiss her and make her happy, because that's what important right is? Even though she doesn't make you happy, you prefer killing demons than to see her, your girlfriend. Have you told her that she isn't that important to you, right? Or are you just leading her on so you can get some action, other than face the fact that you like someone or something else?" Jace stared at Alec as Alec shouted at him. Alec just shook his head in a sigh and decided to turn around again and walk away hopelessly, once again.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


End file.
